Hello everyone of the blogs... You see, this time I'm writting for you, and with "for you" I mean "no one" because there is probably no one here to read this and probably I also don't care if I'm writting mistakenly some words.
Well, today I'm in a complicated situation... Sometimes I feel that is better to have today the things I didn't have yesterday or even more in the past... well, in the past I had them. Saying this again "it's complicated". Some friendships are really important to us and you can notice that, there is no friendship without a weakness... Sometimes my problem is that I don't want to go out with some people and I'm very selective. People can judge me saying: "Yes you say you are my friend but then everytime I want to hang out with you, you say NO!" - Yeah that's true... unfortunatly that's true... It's kinda of my way of being "a friend". (No rational meaning in this but however)
I don't know if there are more people in this world with this problem. I don't know if this is a problem or... what is this but... it's bad for me.
The problem is that I like to be friendly and a friend to everyone but...you see... there is different ways of "being a friend"...
When this kind of situations come I really get in a ZEN state. I can't have a really properly reaction to everything that's happening. It's kinda of a deficiency or I don't know because it's really hard to me to deal with this. (And I really don't know why).
I can go to the climax of thoughts like: "Yeah, why not? Let's go and have fun tommorow!" ...But then, a few hours later, my bedroom, the house, my mind, or I don't know what or who, starts kinda of saying to me: "stayyyy..... you know that you don't want to go! Why are you going to hang out if it's not of your volition?! Come on... stay here........... with me?" - (my pillow says, or my computer or my WHOLE bedroom).
You see??? It's complicated to deal with things like this!! The good part is that the one I'm talking to (now) it's...no one. Because if it was someone... I would probably have to explain me again...